The typical cry from alot of women is “Where are all the good men?” and that question can be answered in many ways depending on what you call a good man. One of the biggest problem in women finding a good man is that they want too much from one man. There is a popular picture of a skeleton looking out a window with the caption; waiting on the perfect man. It is funny but in some cases true.
The first thing a woman needs to do to find a good man is not finding out what she needs but what she doesn’t need. You may go to the food store and have $100 and the bill comes to $120. Your only option is to put back some stuff and you decide this by the things that are less important to you. Well in relationships a woman has to figure out the qualities that she needs in her man and not just what she wants.
Some women are more superficial and they want the amazing house, beautiful car, expensive trips and clothing. There are alot of independent women out there but if these are things she want from her man she has to accept certain things. First off her man won’t have that much time to spend with her or a possible family because of the time he is spending making this money. Her man also has more control over her because he knows she has to stay with him in order for her lifestyle to continue. This kind of woman will have to accept that this man will have other women also because of his wealth.
There are some women who are more attracted to the physical aspect of a man. Some like the color of a man, the good hair and good looks. Other go crazy over the body or what a man can do for them in the bedroom. Again if the man is very attractive or good in bed there is a good chance she is not the only woman that wants him or has him. So a woman who needs a man like this has to be able to handle the cheating factor because it comes with the territory.
Security is an important quality to a woman also, so some women have to have a guy she feels safe with. Often this guy who makes her feel safe has a little bit or alot of bad boy to him. With the bad boy she runs the risk of being abused both physically and mentally. The bad boy usually is a cheater too who is extremely jealous.
It has to be noted first off it is true that a good man is hard to find just as a good woman is hard to find. It is hard to find all of the qualities we seek in one person. Lyfe Jennings has a song called statistics that basically says only 10% of men are worth being in a relationship with. The first obstacle in finding a good man is the statistics are against women. There are more women then men and some men are gay so not every woman can have their OWN MAN.
So step 1 is finding a man who is not married, engaged or in a relationship. Avant’s song Lie about us said it all when it comes to wanting a man who is married. They can promise all day but the fact is if they don’t leave their wife in the 1st year you met him it’s a low chance of it happening. There are easy ways to find out if a man is married or in a relationship. One of them is he doesn’t want to go out in public with you because he doesn’t want to be caught. He is not available when you want him because he is in a next relationship. He does not want to take any pics with you because he can’t be seen with you. He doesn’t introduce you to any of his family of friends. Once you have found a man who is single it’s time to move on top step 2.
Step 2 is weighing your options. Find a guy that has more of the qualities you like than those you don’t like. Everyone has their bad habits but make sure he doesn’t have too many bad and not enough good. Make sure your guy is really into you. If you are very pretty, have big breast or a big booty make him work for awhile to get it. If you see him begin to distance from you because he is not getting it yet then you know he is more into your body. You have to make sure that you like being around this guy. Yes he may have physical qualities or a very nice guy but if you do not enjoy his company it will never work.
Step 3 is compromise. Your guy doesn’t have to be the most attractive but you have to be in some way attracted to him for it to work. Honesty is an important part of any relationship and this quality shouldn’t be compromised. The character of a man is important. Just because your guy won’t go and beat up a guy because he looked at you hard doesn’t mean you should pass on him. Some guys will not have that rugged bad boy character but they will treat you good and in the end that is important. Finance are also important while you don’t have to be with a guy with a million dollars you should find a man that helps take care of you. There is nothing wrong with starting off with a man who is not making much money once that man has a plan for the future that make sense. DO NOT fall for a dreamer who has alot of big plans to be rich but currently only has $5 in the bank.
Step 4 is not to be rushed. Alot of women marry or are in relationships for the wrong reason. Their mother or women in their family say you are older now you need to be married. A woman sees all of her friends getting married and feels jealous and left out. Some women cannot stand to be alone so they are anxious to get into a relationship. Now again I am not saying wait for perfect but wait awhile for GOOD because you do not want to be in a relationship and you are not happy.
Step 5 is not overlooking good men. Alot of women have that male friend that they absolutely adore but they have FRIEND ZONED HIM. They designate that he can only be friends with her and alot of times they know the guy is attracted to them. Truth is what would be better than being with a person who is also your best friend. They often say “Why my BF can’t be good like you” and the truth is he could be.
In closing one of the main downfalls of women when choosing a man is planning to change him. People can change but it was once said we develop our personalities by age 6 so the phrase can’t teach a old dog new tricks is relevant. The truth is some women are not ready for a relationship should they shouldn’t even be seeking one. However for those who are I hope this helped.
Signed…A GOOD MAN